Saturday, October 9, 2010

ONE - Really?

It makes me sad to start this post. Our sweet baby girl is already ONE. No way. I refuse to believe it. Not only does this mean I am one year older, it means that our last baby is no longer that, a baby. Sniff.Sniff.
We celebrated Caedyn's day hosting a big bash with family and friends. The 50+ people that congregated at our house was a true indication of how blessed we are to have such a strong support system surrounding us. It was a great time. We had burgers and hot dogs and of course, birthday cake made by Grandma Hennip. Who, as most of you already know, makes the best cake in town!
When I think back at the first year of Caedyn's life, I can't help but reflect on how blessed we are to have her in our lives. I never would have imagined that she would change our lives so drastically. Children often do that anyway, but this has been different. She is such a good baby, still doesn't win points in the sleep department, but happy nonetheless. She has always pretty much just had a "go with the flow" attitude. Then again, I think the third baby doesn't have much choice! I really thought that having three kids was going to be crazy but in fact, it was the opposite. One would say it is because I am a dictator when it comes to schedule, but I think it has saved us in the long run! It also helps that Cam and Case are at independent ages and are usually willing to help their mom (I am waiting for the day that will change). Don't get me wrong, we have certainly had our days! Caedyn has not only made our family LESS chaotic and more structured, but brought us so much closer together than ever before. When she was diagnosed with epilepsy in March
2010, it marked a new chapter in life for all of us, including our family and friends. It was that week of her life and the months that followed that made us realize the importance of life. The fear of losing a child and sheer lack of control is undescribeable. She is one tough cookie. When I think back at all she has endured, it amazes me. I hope that through all this, even at her young age, she will have the attitude that she can accomplish anything.. I know WE can. Caedyn has helped us increase our faith in God immensely. I get choked up writing this because it is amazing at how our faith has changed in one year. We have been through ups and downs as a family but her disease has given us the ultimate challenge and still continues to do so today. A key verse in my life is found in Matthew 6:34, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I pray everyday for decreased anxiety and have done really well at letting go and letting God. It has been surprisingly easy. The power of prayer and faith, two wonderful things!

Aside from being a tough cookie, she is stubborn as all get out. Caedyn hates it when I stand her up in the tub to wash her up, in fact, she screams and straightens out her arms and legs. She is a momma's girl and is still known to throw fits for her dad for many hours. Caedyn must get her attitude from her dad. I'm sure of it. :)
She loves loves loves her big brothers and I think the most favorite part of her day is waking them up in the morning. She climbs all over them and gives smootches till they are begging me to get her off of them. I love it. She is still not eating much "people" food and is not a big baby food eater either. Thankfully, nursing is still going well for us and she hasn't lost too much interest. I feel confident knowing she is getting the nutrition she needs from me. I often complain about the committment it is to nurse a child but it has been well worth every second and every inconvenience. We have a swallow study coming up in a couple weeks so we can get to the bottom of her food avoidance. Why she wouldn't want to eat ice cream, cookies and other yummy foods beats the heck out of me. I can't wait to see what we find out.

As you can tell, I could write for hours and hours about my daughter. I love her to pieces and cannot fathom a life without her, ups and downs and all. In her first year, I have learned patience, perserverance and the power of prayer. I only hope her next year brings that and so much more for all of us.

The birthday girl in her new tutu from Grandma Hoekwater

The delicious cake made by Grandma Hennip